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If you believe the generational cutoff for Gen X is 1961 to 1981 and you loathe yourself for sort of liking the Katy Perry song "Teenage Dream," then this funny and cynical (we're talking about Gen X here) article is well worth a read. Our teenage years are definitely just a dream at this point. We want to speak to the manager, not an AARP representative. Winona Ryder is turning 40? How did this happen? Will we Gen Xers ever get to retire? Why are painter pants making a comeback? Can't we send them back to the 1980s where they belong? We'll keep the Ray-Ban Wayfarers for sentimental purposes and for future 3 p.m. dinner outings to Baja Fresh, though.