Skip to main content

Let's Think Outside the Box About Business Jargon

You're in a meeting with 15 of your workplace besties when one of them throws out a new business buzzword. Zing! You're momentarily lost for words, because you have no idea what this co-worker means.

Ugh. Talk about a lack of synergy. Quick, we need an ideation session where we can do some rapid-fire decisioning!

We've all been there, struggling to understand some new bit of business lingo. I still remember the first time that I, as a fledgling business journalist, heard the phrase "eyeballs" during the dotcom era. CEOs and marketing types kept telling me all about these rumored "eyeballs," and man were they ever "sticky" for some reason!

Finally, I had to risk looking stupid by asking for a definition. I learned that the word "eyeballs" was trendy business slang for audience. "Stickiness" referred to the amount of time users spent on a website over the course of a week, or a month. For me, it was like filling in a word puzzle. At least I knew what they were talking about now.

That was nearly two decades ago, and business jargon hasn't gotten any better since then. In fact, it's gotten much worse! It's almost as if the 1990s were simply a ramp-up phase for on-boarding a bunch of largely meaningless buzzwords to confuse our colleagues, who, of course, are busy trying to think outside the box.

Our modern business buzzword dictionary is replete with verbal space wasters such as "collabition" and "updation" or "platforming" and "blue sky thinking."

The worst business buzzword I can think of as I hit the ground running with this blog post? I nominate the phrase "let's open the kimono," which means "let's be clear, or transparent," or something along that line. So why not simply say, "Let's be clear"? It's so much clearer!

What can you do when somebody in a work situation utters a new buzzword you haven't heard before? In addition to stifling a bemused smile, you have three options:

1. Say nothing. You might decide to let this inane drivel wash right over your head. You didn't quite catch the meaning, but that's okay. You understood the general direction of your work colleague's comments, no clarification necessary. Besides, you can google "cooptition" and "growth hack" after the meeting, right?

2. Say something. Go ahead, be the brave one in the meeting to ask what "back-of-the-envelope thinking" means, because you haven't used an envelope in months. On the one hand, you risk looking silly by asking. On the other hand, you risk making your co-worker look silly by asking for clarification. It's your call. Hey, nobody ever said it's easy being a meeting disruptor!

3. Circle back. Your co-worker said something about "developing a cadence of outreach" or some such verbal diarrhea. It sounds suspiciously like a marketing term, no? You might say, "I'm wondering if we can circle back*** to discuss the outreach you were talking about. Could you elaborate on that?" Chances are, a few other colleagues wonder what "cadence of outreach" means, too.

But there's no need to boil the ocean here.

Personally, I would go with #2, or maybe #3 in a pinch. As a business columnist, it was my job to understand fully what others were trying to say in order to get the story right. So I had to learn to have no hesitation in asking humbly: "Pardon me, I have a quick, clarifying question before you continue. What does 'leveraging the paradigm' mean to you? Ditto for the phrase, 'mental bandwidth.' Thanks."

The funny thing is, asking for buzzword clarification could take some people aback. The simplest questions tend to be the hardest ones to answer.

Bottom line: If we insist on using trendy business jargon, then we should know what we're talking about before we say it, just in case somebody (egad!) asks us to define our buzzwords.

We all have bandwidth for new learnings, and the ability to be more choiceful and skilling in our words. Okay, I'll let you get back to disrupting the marketplace now.

*** Bonus points will be awarded for pivoting to another business buzzword or phrase while you're at it.


Popular posts from this blog

Seven tips for dealing with a jealous coworker

Look at you, doing so well at work! We're so happy for you. Well, most of us are happy for you and refuse to spend the entire work day talking behind your back. Let's talk about how to handle our jealous co-workers!Like every other professional, you've no doubt experienced your share of failures and successes. Lately, however, things seem to be going your way at work. And how! Perhaps you've managed to ace an important project this quarter, been instrumental in landing a huge client, earned some well-deserved rewards for this and that, or -- egads! -- been given a slight promotion or additional work responsibilities (e.g., the work responsibilities you actually want).You're quietly chuffed, but somehow your co-workers seem none too pleased with this rapid turn of events. Oh no, what should you do now?It's a workplace tale older than the disjointed last season of Mad Men. The playing field in the department was even, cozy and overall very friendly -- until so-an…

Employees Blame Technology For Slowing Them Down At Work

Do you feel like you're always working, but never getting very much done? If so, you're not alone. Too much technology, and too much red tape, keep slowing us down at work. But technology, and more of it, is supposed to make our lives easier! Too much technology, however, does not compute for employees. A new SAP/Knowledge@Wharton survey of almost 700 corporate employees finds a full 60% of respondents blame technology "for inhibiting their ability to meet strategic goals." Gee, anyone who has ever used the self-checkout line at the grocery store can tell you that. However, 40% surveyed said that looking for ways to simplify the technology has been "a low priority" for their company. Too much paperwork is an on-going problem for the workplace, too. A new ServiceNow survey of nearly 1,000 managers finds that 90% are doing too much administrative work, no matter the size of the company. This paperwork includes filling out forms, writing status updates, …

Is Your Co-worker Always Late For Work?

You've started the workday, but where is your co-worker? Oh, she's running late again, just like yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Let's get an early start on solving her tardiness problem, shall we? Working with someone who is consistently late is one of the most annoying aspects of office life, and also one of the most common, unfortunately. It's a universal theme of the workplace that everyone will get to work on time (give or take a few minutes...) except for the employee who is egregiously late nearly every day. And the excuses can get pretty amazing. Employees became more punctual as the Great Recession lingered, at least according to surveys. Everyone, that is, except for your able-bodied but habitually-tardy co-worker. It's bad enough dealing with tardiness when you're a manager, but it can be even more frustrating when you're a rank-and-file peer without any magical "shape up or ship out" managerial powers. So you…