The U.S. economy added 215,000 jobs in March, and ZipRecruiter doesn't want babies to miss out on the thrill of full-time employment. With ZipRecruiter, infants will have access to a mobile app via their parents' drool-smeared smartphones to scan job openings uniquely tailored to their skills, interests and abilities.
These jobs include Baby Food Tester, Baby Diaper Designer, Baby Construction Worker, and many other trendy career options.
Babies will also be able to receive emailed job alerts that will go directly to their parents' email boxes. It's about time, too, since boring STEM classes by age 2 can only do so much to push our kids ahead when they could be outside developing their social/motor skills on the playground.
ZipRecruiter wants every U.S. baby to stand on its own two feet in order to climb the career ladder. "At ZipRecruiter, we have a mission to help all people find meaningful jobs and have successful careers," says ZipRecruiter CEO Ian Siegel. "When we looked at the statistics, we identified one key segment of the population with untapped, nearly limitless potential - babies." Here, watch the recruitment video.
I can see a few advantages for highly competitive parents, as well. For example, when one parent introduces themselves and for some inexplicable reason the very first thing out of their mouth is, "Hi, my child is in the gifted program," the other parent can throw out their baby's new job title. "Oh. My baby is a VP of logistics. She should easily be senior management by preschool, which will look good on her college applications. And what is your name?"
The other parent might suddenly have a sinking feeling like he or she simply can't compete, which, sadly, seems to have become the main point of modern parenting.
So move over, Millennials. Every baby is gifted, and now every baby can collect your paycheck! They're far cuter than you are, Millennials, and they're way younger, too. If you suddenly have a sinking feeling like you can't compete with cuter and younger in today's job market, then you're not alone. Just ask a Gen Xer.