Skip to main content

ZipRecruiter Births "Jobs For Babies" Hiring Trend

Everybody thinks their infant is the smartest one in the room. But if these babies are so gifted, then why aren't they moving up the career ladder yet? Luckily, online employment recruiter ZipRecruiter is putting the lazy infant trend to bed!

The U.S. economy added 215,000 jobs in March, and ZipRecruiter doesn't want babies to miss out on the thrill of full-time employment. With ZipRecruiter, infants will have access to a mobile app via their parents' drool-smeared smartphones to scan job openings uniquely tailored to their skills, interests and abilities.

These jobs include Baby Food Tester, Baby Diaper Designer, Baby Construction Worker, and many other trendy career options.

Babies will also be able to receive emailed job alerts that will go directly to their parents' email boxes. It's about time, too, since boring STEM classes by age 2 can only do so much to push our kids ahead when they could be outside developing their social/motor skills on the playground.

ZipRecruiter wants every U.S. baby to stand on its own two feet in order to climb the career ladder. "At ZipRecruiter, we have a mission to help all people find meaningful jobs and have successful careers," says ZipRecruiter CEO Ian Siegel. "When we looked at the statistics, we identified one key segment of the population with untapped, nearly limitless potential - babies." Here, watch the recruitment video.


I can see a few advantages for highly competitive parents, as well. For example, when one parent introduces themselves and for some inexplicable reason the very first thing out of their mouth is, "Hi, my child is in the gifted program," the other parent can throw out their baby's new job title. "Oh. My baby is a VP of logistics. She should easily be senior management by preschool, which will look good on her college applications. And what is your name?"

The other parent might suddenly have a sinking feeling like he or she simply can't compete, which, sadly, seems to have become the main point of modern parenting.

So move over, Millennials. Every baby is gifted, and now every baby can collect your paycheck! They're far cuter than you are, Millennials, and they're way younger, too. If you suddenly have a sinking feeling like you can't compete with cuter and younger in today's job market, then you're not alone. Just ask a Gen Xer.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Seven tips for dealing with a jealous coworker

Look at you, doing so well at work! We're so happy for you. Well, most of us are happy for you and refuse to spend the entire work day talking behind your back. Let's talk about how to handle our jealous co-workers!Like every other professional, you've no doubt experienced your share of failures and successes. Lately, however, things seem to be going your way at work. And how! Perhaps you've managed to ace an important project this quarter, been instrumental in landing a huge client, earned some well-deserved rewards for this and that, or -- egads! -- been given a slight promotion or additional work responsibilities (e.g., the work responsibilities you actually want).You're quietly chuffed, but somehow your co-workers seem none too pleased with this rapid turn of events. Oh no, what should you do now?It's a workplace tale older than the disjointed last season of Mad Men. The playing field in the department was even, cozy and overall very friendly -- until so-an…

Employees Blame Technology For Slowing Them Down At Work

Do you feel like you're always working, but never getting very much done? If so, you're not alone. Too much technology, and too much red tape, keep slowing us down at work. But technology, and more of it, is supposed to make our lives easier! Too much technology, however, does not compute for employees. A new SAP/Knowledge@Wharton survey of almost 700 corporate employees finds a full 60% of respondents blame technology "for inhibiting their ability to meet strategic goals." Gee, anyone who has ever used the self-checkout line at the grocery store can tell you that. However, 40% surveyed said that looking for ways to simplify the technology has been "a low priority" for their company. Too much paperwork is an on-going problem for the workplace, too. A new ServiceNow survey of nearly 1,000 managers finds that 90% are doing too much administrative work, no matter the size of the company. This paperwork includes filling out forms, writing status updates, …

Is Your Co-worker Always Late For Work?

You've started the workday, but where is your co-worker? Oh, she's running late again, just like yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Let's get an early start on solving her tardiness problem, shall we? Working with someone who is consistently late is one of the most annoying aspects of office life, and also one of the most common, unfortunately. It's a universal theme of the workplace that everyone will get to work on time (give or take a few minutes...) except for the employee who is egregiously late nearly every day. And the excuses can get pretty amazing. Employees became more punctual as the Great Recession lingered, at least according to surveys. Everyone, that is, except for your able-bodied but habitually-tardy co-worker. It's bad enough dealing with tardiness when you're a manager, but it can be even more frustrating when you're a rank-and-file peer without any magical "shape up or ship out" managerial powers. So you…