Skip to main content

Weak! How To Talk Like Donald Trump At Work

I was having lunch with a friend at a fast-casual dining establishment. Amid the trays and discarded straw wrappers, I asked how things were going.

"I'm an eating machine," my friend deadpanned between bites of burrito. "I'm a total disaster with a bad attitude, believe me."

I did what any supportive friend would do as this election year winds down: I laughed and did my best Hillary shoulder shimmy. I mean, what else can you do?

via GIPHY


Not only had I just been "trumped" by Trump's terrible, horrible, no-good comments in jest, I had just been triple-Trumped in one, cilantro-fueled comment! Eating machine. Total disaster. Believe me. My friend was doing things bigly, that I can tell you.

Maybe like me, you need your up-to-the-minute election news fix in this roller coaster ride of an election year. Whether it's Morning Joe or The Washington Post, you want to know what Trump said this time (which might be even worse than what he said last time). Oh, what a long, strange cable news trip it's been. Are we there yet? I'm exhausted, and ready to get election day over with.

Maybe you've used up all your TV news-watching capital and found yourself working Trump phrases into random conversations with friends, family and familiar work colleagues. In fact, a well-placed Trump phrase uttered in the workplace could subtly (or not so subtly?) announce our political leanings when we can't talk politics at work. It's pretty much a wink and a nod to our like-minded colleagues that we won't be voting a certain way.

How To Turn a Phrase Like Trump
Trump's very distinctive manner of speaking has become a sort of cultural touchstone. Like Sarah Palin in 2008, he is our political earworm. His words are everywhere because he is everywhere, all the time, at rallies and (until recently) at scheduled debates, dominating each and every moment of the news cycle, his tweets re-hashed endlessly by reporters. In the process, we've had more than a year to pick up on his particular turns of phrase. Without further delay, here are my Top 10 Trump words and phrases:

1. Believe me
2. It's a disaster
3. And that I can tell you
4. Tremendous/tremendous success/tremendous failure
5. Bigly (or is it "big league"?)
6. So important
7. Let me tell you
8. Wrong!
9. Absolutely incredible
10. You have no idea

"Massive," "I don't think so," "absolutely disgusting," "sad" and "weak" make the honorable mentions list. For extra credit, we can try to work all of these words into one, work-related conversation like this:

"I'm working so hard, you have no idea. I think we're going to have tremendous, massive success with this project, believe me. It's important, so important. Did you see the report from Dave in accounting? All I can say is, I don't think so! It's a disaster, a total disaster. Weak! By the way, have you heard that they hired the applicant who interviewed last week? Not my first choice, let me tell you. Sad! And who keeps leaving nasty, old lunches in the break room fridge? Absolutely disgusting. Wrong! By the way, Jane in sales is going bigly this month. She's absolutely incredible -- just tremendous -- and that I can tell you! She's a client-eating machine! A tremendous success."

Whew. Okay, what I wrote is a complete disaster, but you get the idea. Talking like Trump is surprisingly easy. Talking like him at work, however, might not be a good idea depending on your workplace. But if you think you have what it takes to become a walking word cloud, then go bigly or go home. I wish you tremendous success, believe me.

Interested in how Trump might be affecting workplace productivity? Check out new employee survey data in my February 2017 post entitled Sad! All the Trump Talk at Work is Hurting our Productivity.

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, I'm glad it made you laugh, InterMezzo! We all need a good laugh right now...

      Delete
  2. Another Trump phrase he uses to introduce some flimsy "fact:"

    "As you know, "

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good one. This topic may require a follow-up post soon...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Seven tips for dealing with a jealous coworker

Look at you, doing so well at work! We're so happy for you. Well, most of us are happy for you and refuse to spend the entire work day talking behind your back. Let's talk about how to handle our jealous co-workers!Like every other professional, you've no doubt experienced your share of failures and successes. Lately, however, things seem to be going your way at work. And how! Perhaps you've managed to ace an important project this quarter, been instrumental in landing a huge client, earned some well-deserved rewards for this and that, or -- egads! -- been given a slight promotion or additional work responsibilities (e.g., the work responsibilities you actually want).You're quietly chuffed, but somehow your co-workers seem none too pleased with this rapid turn of events. Oh no, what should you do now?It's a workplace tale older than the disjointed last season of Mad Men. The playing field in the department was even, cozy and overall very friendly -- until so-an…

Employees Blame Technology For Slowing Them Down At Work

Do you feel like you're always working, but never getting very much done? If so, you're not alone. Too much technology, and too much red tape, keep slowing us down at work. But technology, and more of it, is supposed to make our lives easier! Too much technology, however, does not compute for employees. A new SAP/Knowledge@Wharton survey of almost 700 corporate employees finds a full 60% of respondents blame technology "for inhibiting their ability to meet strategic goals." Gee, anyone who has ever used the self-checkout line at the grocery store can tell you that. However, 40% surveyed said that looking for ways to simplify the technology has been "a low priority" for their company. Too much paperwork is an on-going problem for the workplace, too. A new ServiceNow survey of nearly 1,000 managers finds that 90% are doing too much administrative work, no matter the size of the company. This paperwork includes filling out forms, writing status updates, …

Is Your Co-worker Always Late For Work?

You've started the workday, but where is your co-worker? Oh, she's running late again, just like yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Let's get an early start on solving her tardiness problem, shall we? Working with someone who is consistently late is one of the most annoying aspects of office life, and also one of the most common, unfortunately. It's a universal theme of the workplace that everyone will get to work on time (give or take a few minutes...) except for the employee who is egregiously late nearly every day. And the excuses can get pretty amazing. Employees became more punctual as the Great Recession lingered, at least according to surveys. Everyone, that is, except for your able-bodied but habitually-tardy co-worker. It's bad enough dealing with tardiness when you're a manager, but it can be even more frustrating when you're a rank-and-file peer without any magical "shape up or ship out" managerial powers. So you…